Cognitive:Students will understand that premarital sex cannot satisfy the deep desires of the mind and heart—only the marriage relationship can do that.
Affective: Students will want to be and stay sexually wholesome.
Behavioral:Students will abstain from premarital sex.
Class Session 1:
Explain that the subject of sexuality is to be treated with great respect. Ask students to take it seriously and to be respectful of the topic, themselves, and one another while discussing it.
The chapter starts out with comments about the media. Emphasize the point that in movies, on TV, in songs and on videos, the people are not really having sex, so there are no consequences in real life. The sexuality is faked. Sometimes the actors and actresses don't even like one another in real life, but they have to act passionately! It is all fake, so of course, no pregnancies, diseases, or extreme psychological and emotional damage result. Real life is not like that, though. There are always some consequences to having sex.
Have students do the exercises: "TV Critic" and Reflection Exercise: "Sexual Integrity and Music" in their student books.
Exercise: “TV Critic”
You are a TV critic for your local newspaper. Think about an episode from your favorite TV program and write an article about it from the point of view of sexual integrity. Point out who was mature, who wasn't, and what the consequences of each type of sexual behavior were. Point out what you think the consequences would be in real life.
Reflection Exercise: “Sexual Integrity and Music”
Think of your favorite song or songs. Write down some of the lyrics that you remember. Now analyze the lyrics. Are there any phrases or words that have a sexual meaning? What are these words telling people about sexuality? Is it encouraging listeners to be loose or careful about their sexuality? Does it express a connection between sex and marriage? Does it focus on the physical aspect of sex, or does it bring in romantic, moral, or spiritual aspects?
Was your song ever shown on video? If so, and you've seen the video, try to analyze the actions, clothing, and movements in the video. What were they saying about sex? What kind of values were they expressing?
In learning to see through the messages the media give us, it might be good to mention pornography. Pornography is full of very attractive-looking people doing sexual things. They look like they are enjoying themselves very much—like they are very happy. It is important to know some things about pornography though:
Sometimes the people in the pictures and movies are forced into posing for the pictures and making the movies. Some are runaways or addicts who are desperate for money, so they are doing this in order to be able to get their next meal. Sometimes they get AIDS right on the photography set. The enjoyment you see on their faces is acted. They may actually be frightened, desperate, or in pain. One very famous pornography female star said her manager would stand backstage with a knife. He threatened to cut her or kill her if she did not do as he said. Even though her videos excited many men, in actuality, she was terrified and miserable the whole time—not enjoying herself at all. Some of the people in pornography films and pictures, especially young ones, have been kidnapped and raped by the people running the pornography business. They are not there willingly.
Ask students not to get their pleasure from looking at pictures of people who are probably in much emotional and physical pain.
The media is make believe. If we believe in it too much, we don't know how to handle real life situations or real people. Sometimes husbands and wives who don't see through the media compare their spouses to people in movies and pictures. But the pictures are airbrushed and changed to make the people look perfect. Some of the girls have had surgery to make them look sexier. It’s not real.
One famous hairstylist of stars gave advice to women not to think they can look just like their favorite movie star. A movie star has about twenty people rushing up to her every few minutes to brush her hair, touch up her makeup, make her stand at the right angle so she looks taller, slimmer, better—perfect. Real people can't afford that—nor would they want to live like that!
It is important that students realize that the media is very different from real life and they should not believe in it too strongly or take its messages too seriously.
Class Session 2:
Bring in a large paper heart made of red construction paper. Tell students you are going to give them your heart. Tell them that once you have given them your heart, they should hold onto to it tightly, even when you ask for it back, because once someone has given their heart to someone, he or she can never get it all back.
Say, "Oh! I love you. I want to give you my heart," to a student. Hand the student the heart. Then look around and pick another student. "No, I like you better now! Here! I want to give you my heart!" Try to take the heart back from the first student, who should hold onto it. The heart will tear. Give the torn heart to the new person. Then look around, choose someone else and say, "Oh, now I think you are so wonderful! I want to give you my heart!" Try to take back the piece of heart from the second student you gave it to. Once again, it should tear. After you've done this enough times that there is hardly any paper heart left, hold it up and pretend to cry. Say, "I gave it away so many times there is almost nothing left! How am I ever going to love someone now?"
Mention that each time someone gives away his or her heart in sexuality with a person, part of the heart gets torn away when it is given to another person. This will make it hard to love in the future—their hearts will be torn to pieces!
Explain that teenagers may think they are in love "forever" with one person now, and that it is okay, therefore, to have sex with him or her. But "forever" is a very long time. Almost no one ends up married to a high school sweetheart. In all likelihood, a person will want to give his or her heart to someone else later on—only to discover that it has been torn in pieces and is no longer able to love and be loved as well.
Mention that scientists have found that people who are virgins going into marriage have happier marriages than those who are not virgins when they marry. That is because virgins have not given away their hearts to someone before marriage, and they have it whole, ready to give to the love of their lives.
Have students refer to the chapter in order to get the answers to the Questions for Reflection. If there is time, break students into groups of three or four of the same sex and have them discuss their answers to the questions with one another.
Questions for Reflection
1. What is the difference between sex and love? In what ways might they be the same?
2. What is the difference between animal and human sexuality?
3. How would you describe sexual maturity?
4. If you were a parent, how would you talk to your teenage child about the issue of sexuality and sexual desire?
5. How would you describe the spiritual, mental, emotional, and moral aspects of human sexuality?
6. Discuss freedom and responsibility in relation to sexuality.
7. Compare mature with immature sexual behavior.
8. Is sex a need or a desire?
9. Is love a need or a desire?
10. With respect to sexuality, how can a person determine if the mind or body is in control?
Cognitive: Students will understand that premarital sex cannot satisfy the deep desires of the mind and heart—only the marriage relationship can do that.
Affective: Students will want to be and stay sexually wholesome.
Behavioral: Students will abstain from premarital sex.
Class Session 1:
Explain that the subject of sexuality is to be treated with great respect. Ask students to take it seriously and to be respectful of the topic, themselves, and one another while discussing it.
The chapter starts out with comments about the media. Emphasize the point that in movies, on TV, in songs and on videos, the people are not really having sex, so there are no consequences in real life. The sexuality is faked. Sometimes the actors and actresses don't even like one another in real life, but they have to act passionately! It is all fake, so of course, no pregnancies, diseases, or extreme psychological and emotional damage result. Real life is not like that, though. There are always some consequences to having sex.
Have students do the exercises: "TV Critic" and Reflection Exercise: "Sexual Integrity and Music" in their student books.
Exercise: “TV Critic”
You are a TV critic for your local newspaper. Think about an episode from your favorite TV program and write an article about it from the point of view of sexual integrity. Point out who was mature, who wasn't, and what the consequences of each type of sexual behavior were. Point out what you think the consequences would be in real life.
Reflection Exercise: “Sexual Integrity and Music”
Think of your favorite song or songs. Write down some of the lyrics that you remember. Now analyze the lyrics. Are there any phrases or words that have a sexual meaning? What are these words telling people about sexuality? Is it encouraging listeners to be loose or careful about their sexuality? Does it express a connection between sex and marriage? Does it focus on the physical aspect of sex, or does it bring in romantic, moral, or spiritual aspects?
Was your song ever shown on video? If so, and you've seen the video, try to analyze the actions, clothing, and movements in the video. What were they saying about sex? What kind of values were they expressing?
In learning to see through the messages the media give us, it might be good to mention pornography. Pornography is full of very attractive-looking people doing sexual things. They look like they are enjoying themselves very much—like they are very happy. It is important to know some things about pornography though:
Sometimes the people in the pictures and movies are forced into posing for the pictures and making the movies. Some are runaways or addicts who are desperate for money, so they are doing this in order to be able to get their next meal. Sometimes they get AIDS right on the photography set. The enjoyment you see on their faces is acted. They may actually be frightened, desperate, or in pain. One very famous pornography female star said her manager would stand backstage with a knife. He threatened to cut her or kill her if she did not do as he said. Even though her videos excited many men, in actuality, she was terrified and miserable the whole time—not enjoying herself at all. Some of the people in pornography films and pictures, especially young ones, have been kidnapped and raped by the people running the pornography business. They are not there willingly.
Ask students not to get their pleasure from looking at pictures of people who are probably in much emotional and physical pain.
The media is make believe. If we believe in it too much, we don't know how to handle real life situations or real people. Sometimes husbands and wives who don't see through the media compare their spouses to people in movies and pictures. But the pictures are airbrushed and changed to make the people look perfect. Some of the girls have had surgery to make them look sexier. It’s not real.
One famous hairstylist of stars gave advice to women not to think they can look just like their favorite movie star. A movie star has about twenty people rushing up to her every few minutes to brush her hair, touch up her makeup, make her stand at the right angle so she looks taller, slimmer, better—perfect. Real people can't afford that—nor would they want to live like that!
It is important that students realize that the media is very different from real life and they should not believe in it too strongly or take its messages too seriously.
Class Session 2:
Bring in a large paper heart made of red construction paper. Tell students you are going to give them your heart. Tell them that once you have given them your heart, they should hold onto to it tightly, even when you ask for it back, because once someone has given their heart to someone, he or she can never get it all back.
Say, "Oh! I love you. I want to give you my heart," to a student. Hand the student the heart. Then look around and pick another student. "No, I like you better now! Here! I want to give you my heart!" Try to take the heart back from the first student, who should hold onto it. The heart will tear. Give the torn heart to the new person. Then look around, choose someone else and say, "Oh, now I think you are so wonderful! I want to give you my heart!" Try to take back the piece of heart from the second student you gave it to. Once again, it should tear. After you've done this enough times that there is hardly any paper heart left, hold it up and pretend to cry. Say, "I gave it away so many times there is almost nothing left! How am I ever going to love someone now?"
Mention that each time someone gives away his or her heart in sexuality with a person, part of the heart gets torn away when it is given to another person. This will make it hard to love in the future—their hearts will be torn to pieces!
Explain that teenagers may think they are in love "forever" with one person now, and that it is okay, therefore, to have sex with him or her. But "forever" is a very long time. Almost no one ends up married to a high school sweetheart. In all likelihood, a person will want to give his or her heart to someone else later on—only to discover that it has been torn in pieces and is no longer able to love and be loved as well.
Mention that scientists have found that people who are virgins going into marriage have happier marriages than those who are not virgins when they marry. That is because virgins have not given away their hearts to someone before marriage, and they have it whole, ready to give to the love of their lives.
Have students refer to the chapter in order to get the answers to the Questions for Reflection. If there is time, break students into groups of three or four of the same sex and have them discuss their answers to the questions with one another.
Questions for Reflection
1. What is the difference between sex and love? In what ways might they be the same?
2. What is the difference between animal and human sexuality?
3. How would you describe sexual maturity?
4. If you were a parent, how would you talk to your teenage child about the issue of sexuality and sexual desire?
5. How would you describe the spiritual, mental, emotional, and moral aspects of human sexuality?
6. Discuss freedom and responsibility in relation to sexuality.
7. Compare mature with immature sexual behavior.
8. Is sex a need or a desire?
9. Is love a need or a desire?
10. With respect to sexuality, how can a person determine if the mind or body is in control?